My introduction to the Goth community was basically put on hold for a few years, even though I loved witchcraft and questioned religion often I was obsessed with being “normal” I would try my best to act the way others did though I knew I never really fit in. The world really opened up to me in high school though. I was very good friends with a girl named Liz, who happened to be best friends with a girl named Kitty. Kitty and I met at Liz’s birthday party where we all spent the night sitting around a camp fire while Kitty and Liz danced to the music of My Chemical Romance, HIM and Evanescence. Kitty wore long stripped socks, had long brown hair that reached past her waist which she wore in pigtails and spoke about things which I never would have thought people talked about before. This drew my attention immediately. Kitty, Liz and I grew closer as we became better friends and grew traits such as our personal striped stocking colour (Mine was blue and black!). The more I hung out with them the more I watched them experimenting with dark and dramatic make up. I watched Liz (who I had known since I was eight) go from seventies rock chick to wearing long black skirts and corsets. I guess I just began joining in on their experimentation and I LOVED it.
The thought of not having to hold my thoughts and feelings back made me so happy. Of course as I started changing, mainly the way I dressed, the people that I had once tried to fit in with started to talk to me less and less though I did gain some new friends on the way.
Back to Liz and Kitty, we started having a “hang out”. Goth Angel opened up in my town which was basically our town’s alternative to hot topic selling things such as GLP and Dead Threads. We went there every weekend, cramming ourselves onto the small red couch as we read through magazines such as gothic beauty and guides of Demonia shoes, especially the Demonia shoes guide. Liz was the neighbor of the owners of the store so they didn’t mind us hanging around and actually gave us discounts. I remember one day Liz and Kitty were chatting with the store owners and they asked us if we wanted some old make up. That was the first manic panic item I had ever used and at the time I hadn’t even realised it. We also spent days putting tags on the clothes and working for them without getting paid. There was one time they had asked us if we wanted to change some coins at the bank for them. Of course we had no idea what we were doing but we eagerly said yes anyway.
As we got older and we started dating and exploring sexuality; things started getting in the way of our friendship though and soon Liz sadly left our little family, though Kitty and I are still good friends.
As that friendship fell apart my very good friend Sarshah and I started hanging out with some of the Goth’s at my school. I had always stared at them as I walked past, though more in interest. The leader of their group was a girl named Jamie. She had long black hair, wore beautiful red lipstick and cut herself. There were a lot for things that this group did that I don’t agree with now but at the time, I was of course, out of place and confused. A lot of the people in this group caused themselves physical harm, skipped school and smoked cigarettes and drugs (I can honestly say I’ve never enjoyed or partaken in smoking cigarettes apart from the moment of trying one). Apart from that fact they were like another little family. They protected me from the violence of the other students that didn’t understand. The best example of this, one that I will never forget was while walking to class. A boy walked up to me and called me a freak. This resulted in Jamie growling in his face. It worked surprisingly well and I will never forget that moment, the moment I truly felt like part of their group.
Within this group, of course, I did a lot for things that I wish I hadn’t. One of which was skipping school. I think I may have almost skipped an entire year, though my test grades thankfully kept me afloat. This group taught me a lot for things though not all of them about the Goth scene. Jamie did give me some of her clothes though, that didn’t fit her anymore and my wardrobe was expanded from brand names. I still, however didn’t have a very good understanding of what Goth actually was.
I turned to the internet. My curiosity grew as I learned more. To this day my love of finding out more of this subculture continues to grow and I only hope that I continue to gain experience. Someday I hope to graduate from a young gothling (A step above babybat) to a mature Goth. This therefore ends my recollection of my Introduction to the Goth Subculture.
I hope you enjoyed and learned a little bit about me.
-SaryWalrus AKA Lucy Diamond.
P.S. The Kitty I mentioned throughout this post recently started her own blog. She is an amazing and quirky writer (Much better than I, to be honest!) and is definitely worth checking out. Click the link I dare you! Link.