Goths and Femininity.

On countless occasions I’ve been told that I’m not a ‘girly-girl’ because I dress in mostly black. This idea is completely ridiculous! Since when does a colour dictate your femininity? The number one definition of feminine is “Belonging to the female gender”. Well, that’s a check, though it isn’t always true. The second, “Having qualities traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity or gentleness”. This one I question a bit but generally it’s fine. But why is it that wearing blue or brown instead of pink or purple males you less ‘feminine?”

Source – Little black dress? I think so!

A great example of femininity is the ‘little black dress’. Generally believed to be of the origins of Coco Channel’s design in the nineteen twenties it’s considered a stable by many women and is often described as simple and elegant; elegance generally referring to grace and dignity. That sounds rather ‘feminine’ to me, as described by the second definition. But, oh no, it’s black. It mustn’t be feminine.

When one pictures a Goth, a person who doesn’t know too much about the subculture they tend to either picture a Mansonite, a romantic goth or some of the more hardcore fashions (Fetish influences, or heavily boots and spiked everything). Un-contrary to popular (mainstream) belief there are so much more fashions, a lot of those being more “stereotypical” feminine. Victorian Goth, Romantic or even Trad Goth.

Then again, who is to dictate what your opinion of femininity is? If wearing long combat boots and a leather jacket makes you feel feminine and that’s how you wish to feel – I suppose it doesn’t matter.

In the end I suppose it just really annoys me when I get dressed up in a frilly blouse and pretty frilly skirt, lace stockings with Mary-janes on and someone calls me masculine because I’m in black. Maybe there’s just something I wont ever understand about mainstream culture. How about you, do you have any strange stories to tell?

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8 Comments

  1. Linnea-Maria
    January 30, 2012 / 9:38 am

    I have never been called unfeminine when I wear black. You was just unlucky enough to meet someone rude and stupid.

  2. Cody Darkstalker
    January 30, 2012 / 12:44 pm

    Maybe it's where you live? I live in NY and up here a lot of people wear black, and very few are goths. I'm usually called the most feminine out of my friends because I always wear makeup and I don't do pants at all ever.

  3. Katelynn_
    January 30, 2012 / 1:42 pm

    No one where I live really wears dresses except the ocassional sun dress in the summer so I guess they can't really say much about my femininity since I'm in a skirt usually atleast six times a week

  4. JamieMF
    January 30, 2012 / 5:16 pm

    I think it's wonderful that you wrote such an insightful post about this-I absolutely agree.I haven't ever been called unfeminine because of my color choices, and I'm sorry you had encounters with such unpleasant and idiotic people! I've actually been frequently accused of being "too girly" because all I wear is skirts and dresses-I guess with some people, you just can't win. The gendering of colors is silly and arbitrary anyway-up until the 1950s pink was actually a "boy's color" because it was in the red color family, which is "aggressive and masculine", while blue was considered the soft, feminine girly color. Mainstream culture is far too fixated on randomly defined gender norms, IMO!

  5. Kayla Osiecki
    January 30, 2012 / 8:25 pm

    Hmmm, I suppose in a way I've dealt with this too. I often wear skirts and dresses, but people have told me I should dress more like a girl. To lesson confusion, I'm going to assume they mean color palette-wise, traditionally. As in pinks or purples. Or heck…maybe just color in general.

  6. January 31, 2012 / 2:21 am

    humm… actually never had that happen to me (maybe i forgot?!) sorry to hear though

  7. Talia Felix
    May 8, 2012 / 4:52 am

    I want the outfit in that picture. And the hair. (Actually I think I know how to do that style with hair rats… in fact I recently gave away a big one I had that would have been perfect.)

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