2   45
6   56
1   68
7   75
2   72
1   55
9   156
14   93

Goths And Sex

Online, it’s not hard to see that there has been a war on sex in combination to Goth. There are those that believe that the connection of bondage with Goth’s is wrong and are hateful towards it, or those that still think that in such an apparently open-minded subculture they can dictate that if another chooses to dress in less that it’s for some reason wrong.

What Happened To The Mantra “Wear What You Want”

To put it bluntly, just because you dress in a Victorian style does not mean you can say that styles such as Deathrock are devaluing the subculture. Such a subculture that takes creativity and self-expression so seriously you’d think that there would be less close-minded bigots but that isn’t always the case. In a perfect world people would be able to wear what ever they want whether that’s a mini-skirt and crop-top or head to toe Victorian – you have absolutely no right (or even less right if you look back at this article that I wrote on judgement [here] – to tell another person the way they dress is somehow wrong.

BDSM And The Goth Subculture

 Lots of other bloggers have addressed the topic of Goths and it’s cousin the Bondage scene. It’s generally agreed that just because someone is a Goth doesn’t mean they are into bondage or are not into bondage. The reason someone is wearing a bondage collar isn’t necessarily because one is into bondage. It could be because of fashion, preference, bondage, a ‘pet’ lifestyle or any number of reasons. A lot of Goth’s like wearing elements of Bondage in their every day wear which can have a different meaning of being worn.

Some (not all) include:

  • Corsets
  • Fishnets
  • Plaid skirts (a symbol of school girl fantasy’s)
  • Collars
  • D and O rings
  • Leather, though this is greatly more accepted in the modern day.
  • PVC

Much like the Vampire subculture there is a lot of cross over with Goth and the Bondage subculture. This is generally because most alternative subcultures when beginning grouped together in clubs and events for a broader audience and to make money. Not to mention the similarities with generally dark clothing, open mindedness and loud music.

The myth that all Goth’s are into bondage goes very well with the myth that are Goth’s are easy discussed further bellow.

Goth Girls Are Easy

 As far as I have heard there’s no designated reason why the implication that Goth Girls are easy came from. To me it seems a combination of sexual symbols being worn by Goths, Goth’s in pornography and Goth’s (or what the media thinks they are) in television and literature. The myth may have developed from the rumoured open-mindedness to one’s own sexuality.

Goths And Pornography

Goth’s are almost fetishised in pornography to the point that it
has become it’s own niche market. At one point even famous models sell
pornography picture, such as (insert persons name here) that asked for
objects on her Amazon wishlist for a return of herself pictured in it –
it’s notable that most of the objects were lingerer. I’m not stating an
opinion on this – as I believe it’s each to their own.

Other Notable Links

 Links Between BDSM and Goth by The Everyday Goth
 Goths Are Closed-minded by The Everyday Goth
MTV’s Gothic Sex a YouTube Video
Goths Make Better Lovers another YouTube Video



  1. December 11, 2012 / 1:21 pm

    I wear corsets, fishnets, plaid skirts and collars every weekend, but that does not mean I'm necessarily into bondage. It's not that I dislike it or I think it's gross, it's just that my clothes don't have anything to do with my activities in bed 😀 I just like the aesthetics.
    One thing that particularly bothers me is when people assume that my style "means" something. It doesn't °_° it's just clothes I like. Just that.

  2. December 11, 2012 / 2:20 pm

    I'm Goth.
    I wear O-ring collars.
    I'm into BDSM buttttttt I feel bad for wearing the collars because I think that people will go "OH she's Goth because she has ____ coloured hair and she has a collar."

    I rarely wear collars in public :

    good post Sary x

  3. December 11, 2012 / 2:34 pm

    Latex, collars, harnesses are nothing new, look at the 70s/80s when punks were wearing these items! I want to pull out a chart from my jacket and have a history lesson when people say crap to me. HAHA!

    I always say I should write a book about my club experiences and that people have said to me. 😉

  4. December 11, 2012 / 6:01 pm

    I'm not into the bondage scene at all, considering I'm an asexual. But that's not going to stop me from wearing plaid and fishnets if that's my prerogative of the day.

    I'm not sure corsets are a bondage thing so much as a former symbol of women's oppression. Meh.

  5. December 11, 2012 / 11:03 pm

    I bought a PVC corset years ago but I never wore it. I only bought it because I thought it was pretty and it didn't have any sexual meaning for me. I still thought I looked too risque in it though I was afraid other people would make assumptions about me which weren't true if I wore it. Sadly for me I thought it was just way too connected to sex for me to feel comfortable in it. Also, I prefer Victorian over Fetish, any day.

  6. December 13, 2012 / 2:26 pm

    I wear a lot of Victoriana and anachronistic fashion, and on an everyday basis, cover up a lot. I also live in Scotland, which is famous for rain, midges, snow, and bad weather, so covering up is also practical! That said, when I'm out clubbing it I dig out the spiked collars, PVC platform boots, ripped fishnets (in layers), miniskirts and short shorts, and all the skimpy 'sexy' stuff. Reason: it's easier to dance in skimpy clothes. Frills and long skirts get in the way. I can dance in pretty much any footwear, so that doesn't bother me half as much as people stepping on my skirts, or catching my lace on suff, or getting my lacing tangled or any of the other stuff that happens when I wear the anachronistic stuff clubbing.

  7. December 18, 2012 / 12:49 am

    I love both victorian and deathrock fashion! I'm very comfortable with my body, so I can wear anything.
    I don't really wear collars and stuff like that, and I hate PVC, so I don't think my outfits would look especially sexual.
    I kinda like light bondage, so maybe that's why, hahah!

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